For some of us, resolutions simply don’t work. While setting goals and intentions can be a great exercise, for those of us who promise ourselves the same thing over and over again with consistently negligible results, there’s something else going on that we probably don’t want to look at.

For anyone who is like me, we can promise ourselves the world, but it’s only when we get desperate, really desperate, that we are willing to change. And that can happen any time of year, not just at the New Year.

I’d been a truly active person for years, working out regularly and with an active job, but no matter how much I upped my exercise routines, I continued to carry around a lot of extra weight. Truth be told, my eating was out of control. I was incredibly strong physically, but always in pain. My joints were inflamed, I kept having to deal with injuries, and I felt miserable in my body. I started working with a personal trainer, still looking toward exercise as a “fix” for not feeling comfortable in my own skin. My hope was that she would help me power through myriad old injuries and help me get my body back.

The first thing Tia, my new personal trainer, did when I started seeing her three years ago, was put me on a food plan. She had me write down everything that crossed my lips and report in to her each week. Having someone I was accountable to helped me open my eyes. Each week, I promised myself I’d eat differently. And each week, I reported back feeling like a dismal failure.

One day, about a year into our weekly sessions, I was in Tia’s workout room and broke down and cried. I shared with her that over the past 40 years, I had been able to kick just about every addiction under the sun. I told her that I’d been dancing around my relationship with food ever since I can remember and had tried everything! I told her I knew I was strong and had tons of willpower, but that nothing ever worked for me and I felt defeated.

I was a miserable wreck, in a heap on her floor and shared all of it from my earliest memories to feeling so overwhelmed and out of control. She told me not to worry, that she would take care of it. I felt certain I was making a fool of myself and she just wanted me out of her studio!

The next week when I showed up, I was amazed to find that Tia had put herself in my shoes, considered what it must be like for me, asked around, looked online and researched options for a hard core food addict. She found an amazing program and told me about it. I bought the book from my phone as soon as I got in my car, read it cover to cover, and I haven’t looked back!

It’s two years later. I continue to be accountable to Tia, and she helps me find workouts that suit my body and help me function better. She works around my old injuries and I’m getting stronger, faster and more flexible, which, at nearly sixty, is very cool! Most importantly, I’ve found peace of mind around food. I’ve lost over 50 pounds and know for a fact it will not come back. My pain is gone, my body is back, and I feel happy and free. I am comfortable in my own skin again, and my brain is calmer and clearer. Sanity has been restored!

Years of resolutions, intentions, goals and inspired workouts got me nowhere. This huge positive change happened because, and only because, I was desperate, my life felt messy, I had tried everything else and was ready when the solution was presented to me. My hope is that some of you won’t have to hit such a low bottom.

Without our health, we have nothing. You know that and I know that. When you are ready, you will find the thing that works for you. One that brings you serenity and restores your self-love. In the meantime, don’t stop trying! You are worth fighting for!

There are three links below. If you live in the Portland area, I highly recommend Tia Fields as a personal trainer. Her hard work has brought me to a new place in my journey toward health and wellness, for which I am so grateful!  There is a link to a quiz about food addiction. That quiz will take you to the program that turned my life around. The last link will take you to information about training at Naga. You are always welcome here, just exactly as you are. In offering these links to you, my hope is that one of these things speaks to you or leads you forward in your journey.

I wish you only the best. Today and every day. If it would help you, I’m happy to share more about my story, feel free to contact me. xo